Ruin a Wish

Granted, you fail all of your assignments and you have insomnia

I wish I was a flamingo

 

Granted. You get kicked in the leg and fall over.

I wish for no school in mondays

 

Granted, Instead of school there will be mandatory 50k runs every Monday

I wish for a iPhone6

 

Granted. It is delivered to you in the belly of a live cow with a chipped wooden sword...
How bad you want it?

I wish for a relaxing vacation on a tropical island.

 

Granted, you end up losing all communication to the modern world and eventually die of starvation and thirst.

I wish that when I have fun time passes slowly, and when I'm bored time goes by quicker.

 

Granted. When ever you have fun everything moves in slow motion, not allowing gravity to work, breaking physics, destroying the universe.

I wish for the next person to not ruin my wish.

 

Granted, I am not a person, the wish is officially, ruined

I wish cakes were good for you

 

Granted. You die of diabetes. Cakes are good for the soul.

I wish for a rabbit.

 

Granted, I put rabbit in shyreder.

I wish for some chicken on top to make it finger lickin'.

 

Granted, you choke on the whipped cream poured like waterfalls.

I wish for Justin Bieber to go back to his planet. We don't want him here.

 

Granted, but his eggs already hatched, now we have to deal with One Direction

I wish Max would be active/alive

 

Granted, he bans you

I wish for 1 Direction to go away too.

 

Granted, 1 Direction is incinerated by a volcano in Hawaii; only to be replaced by a worse boy band.

I wish for a muffin.

 

Granted. You eat it and get fat

I wish for more sleep

 

Granted. You go to bed one night and never wake up.

I wish to time travel.

 

granted. you go back in time and change the past, now you no longer exist.

I wish i could know everything i need to know at any moment

 

Granted, you become overwhelmed and are paralyzed. You also turn into a cabbage.

I wish for a framed portrait of general Nicholas Cage.

 

Granted. As it stares into your soul, you go insane.


I wish for swag and yolo to never be born

 

Granted, you were never born

I wish for a banana

 

Granted, you slip on a banana peel and snap your neck

I wish for a waffle.